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I'm just so full of despair right now

I pay my bills and I don't have enough left over for gas, let alone groceries. I'm *tired* of overdrafts. I thought I could stick it out for four months so I could audition for "The Women" and maybe get cast. I can't do that. I have to get that second job now so I can get caught up and maybe get ahead. I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling like a $20 club ticket to see my favorite local band is a spendthrift luxury. this *hurts*.

Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
mjlayman
Mar. 9th, 2011 05:25 am (UTC)
I'm sorry. I hope the second job isn't too tiring. Have you considereed finding a roommate? I know you'd need another place.
mckavian
Mar. 9th, 2011 01:00 pm (UTC)
I am right there with you, financially speaking.

I am ot quite to the point where I cannot afford the good ramen, but close.
mcmiller
Mar. 9th, 2011 04:24 pm (UTC)
Babe, much love. You were there for me when I was in that place. What can I do for you now? It does get better.
lizzibabe
Mar. 10th, 2011 12:39 am (UTC)
You've given me so much already, and a loan is just a short term solution. I'll call you and talk.
itskoi
Mar. 9th, 2011 04:27 pm (UTC)
(((((Hugs))))) I know what you mean. Whenever I feel that way, whenever life throws it at me I try to think of *Rice Month. Inevitably it cheers me up.

I was taking five or six large garbage bags of pop bottles in yesterday - here you pay a 'deposit' per bottle but when you return them empty you get it back. So I got something like $35. I saw many people dressed better than I (such as you know, office workers on their lunch break) trying to scrape together enough for gas (I assume) until Friday. A young couple whom I was going to give my ticket (the bottle people give you a ticket that you take to the cash people for the cash), but they left too soon for that.

Hard times everywhere. I passed a new looking home with a red-bordered sheet of paper tacked to the door. Foreclosure notice. There's a field around here that is all set up for new housing. Asphalt streets, lights, all utilities put in. Filled with brush and overgrowth and devoid of homes, something like an Apocolypse movie. (The developer went bankrupt before being able to sell a single lot, the rule is you have to have utilities IN before advertising lots for sale)

You used to never see homeless people around that area, but yesterday afternoon after getting some groceries I drove by one pushing a cart covered with a large beach blanket, as though covering the posessions gave them some dignity. Probably it did.

All that said, for what it's worth, so's you know that you are not alone. (((Hugs)))


---------
*Jasmine scented rice. 30 pound bag. No meat or vegetables. After the first week, no condiments either. But, by God, I didn't starve to death. ;-)
dandelion_diva
Mar. 9th, 2011 06:30 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, hon.
shadowlynn
Mar. 10th, 2011 01:09 am (UTC)
Hugs
Feeling your pain.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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